The grass on my side of the fence...

Like many others, I often compare myself to others and their personalities, their lives, their homes, their children...

Can I be as cute as my friends?

Can I be as funny?

Can my house look as organized? As nicely decorated?

Can my children be as well mannered? As cutely dressed?

What I have never stopped to think about or even remotely consider is that there could be people thinking the same thoughts about ME...

That is until last week when a friend stopped me and said how she so enjoyed reading my blog (and do you know - she could have stopped RIGHT THERE for I just love the thought of someone enjoying my words, my thoughts...), but she went on to further say that it seems as though "the grass is always green" on my side of the fence...

Her thoughts got me to thinking (and laughing for they could NOT be further from the truth)...and what I realized is that she thinks that way because that's what I let her see, through my words, through the memories and moments I share...

And once again I was reminded of the importance of showing vulnerability, of being completely honest with yourself, with others...

To all my fellow moms, let me give your Christmas gift from me a little early this year so that you can see that the grass on my side of the fence is not green, it's full of those brown ugly patches, it's full of weeds...

My life is not perfect...I struggle DAILY to keep up with my job in the office and my job at home and often feel as though I am coming up short in both...I struggle to balance the need to spend quality time with my children, my husband and just wanting to check into a hotel for the weekend ALONE (me, a big bed, room service and complete control of the remote sounds like HEAVEN)...I struggle to not let my impatience get the best of me, but there are moments when I am short with my children or Dave, when I admittedly count down the minutes to nap time or bed time or encourage Dave to go out for the night with his friends...I struggle with keeping up with laundry...I struggle with winning the battle over clutter and often do nothing more than move things from one place to another...I don't make my bed most mornings (or have Kate make hers)...I don't make dinner for my kids, instead we often pick up something and bring it home (why does that feel like a step above eating out) or just heat up something in the microwave...I still carry many of the teenage girl insecurities of wanting to be like, to be accepted, to not wanting to be "left out"...

Feeling better yet?!? I know I do...being able to share my heart...it takes courage, it takes belief in myself and in others, but it is liberating...

Here's to encouraging others...but more importantly encouraging OURSEVLES, loving OURSELVES as we love others...