I was once a fourth grader who was often found crying in the bathroom...

I was once a fifth grader who willingly ate god-awful combinations of food at lunch time as demanded by the "it" girls...

I was once a sixth grader who was bullied on the bus...

I was once a high school girl who was part of a "three-some" (the wholesome kind!), who learned the hard way that 3 doesn't work...

I have often felt left out, I have often felt unworthy, I have often felt as though I was not ENOUGH...I often wore a mask, hiding my thoughts, my needs, my wants in an effort to be who I thought others wanted or needed me to be to be their friend...

I have told you (all 7 of you that read my thoughts) that my goal for 2012 is to learn to believe that I am ENOUGH...

For all that I am, for all that I am not, for my strengths, for my weaknesses, I am ENOUGH...

Easy enough to say...

Nearly impossible to believe, but I'm getting there...

I'm getting there because I'm letting myself out...

I'm "showing off" my dancing skills to Drew while cooking dinner and the sound of his deep belly and his shreaks of "Dance! Dance!" overcome my self-consciousness...

I'm wearing clothes that I wouldn't normally wear (we're talking slightly more trendy than my normal) and I'm feeling good in them thanks to the encouragement of Dave, my co-workers, my freinds...

I'm showing my heart, my vulnerabilities to my friends, and I'm feeling better by the minute because I am being shown such love, such understanding in return...

I read a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson this morning - "A true friend is one who will make us do what we can."

And his words rang true in my heart for it is through the love, the encouragement, the pushes of Dave, Christie, Meredith, and Stacy -- the absolute best friends that any girl could ask for that I am learning...more than that, that I am slowly beginning to believe...I am ENOUGH...that I am being shown what true freindship is...

That I CAN...That I WILL...That they will be there...Should I SUCCEED...Should I FAIL...

Love, Friendship...it's not about saying or doing what you think the other person WANTS to say or wants to hear, it's about saying or doing the things they NEED to hear...It's loving ENOUGH to do those things...

How very blessed I am...

A Boy And His Dog...

Last year for Valentine's Day, I purchased a blue corduroy puppy for Drew...someTHING cute and cuddly for my someONE cute and cuddly...Little did I know what would come next...

On Valentine's Day, I handed Drew his puppy, he smiled his grin...that grin that takes over his ENTIRE face and there was no looking back. My boy...he was IN LOVE.

At first "blue puppy" (so aptly named by Kate) was necessary only for sleeping...

NOW, "DOGGIE!" (as so aptly named by Drew and said with much enthusiasm) is necessary for EVERYTHING...

From the moment that Drew's eyes pop open and he starts his day with some high spirited jumping in his crib, to the moment that he lays down and fights the battle against sleep, DOGGIE! is in his arms...DOGGIE! joins us for breakfast, lunch, and dinner (and if often offered food and drink), DOGGIE! goes to daycare, DOGGIE! goes on all our errands, when life gets a little out of sorts, DOGGIE! is who Drew turns to, he brings him to his nose (don't ask...I have no idea why), and all is right again...

MELTS.MY.HEART

(And let me just say, DOGGIE! has on occasion been left in our bed and I, too, have cuddled with him, inhaling the sweet smell of my baby boy and the memories of his childhood...I have a feeling, when Drew's "too old", he will become mine and a reminder of days gone (too quickly) by)