MMM-WAH

Over the course of the past few days, the adorable face below has picked up a new trick and it's BY FAR my favorite...

While I'm holding him, he grabs my face (perhaps a little too rough for my liking, but I'll take it) says "MMM-WAH" as he plants a big kiss on my face (perhaps it's more like biting my face, but again, I'll take it) and then with a big smile on his face, he puts his nose to mine and wraps his arms around my neck...

Just might be the best "first kiss" I've ever had...

The Little Moments...

Thanksgiving...

Christmas...

Birthdays...

Anniversaries...

All of the above...they are what we consider to be "special occasions"...moments to slow down, celebrate, to be thankful for all that we have...

This week has been one of those weeks where most has NOT gone according to plan, I was at home on Monday with Drew and find myself at home again today with Drew...in between doses of medicine, I've had lots of time to catch up on my favorite daytime TV...In doing so, I caught the end of a Hallmark commercial and their tag line, it caught my attention, and gave me pause...

"Life is a special occasion"...so to the list above I'd like to add "Thursday mornings" -- Thursday mornings spent cuddled on the couch with Drew, he's clutching his favorite blue puppy as he lays on my chest and I'm just breathing him in...I want to always remember what it feels like to have his hands holding onto my shirt because he doesn't want me moving, I want to always remember the sweet smell of his breath, I want to always remember how soft his hair feels as I run my fingers through it...I just want to always remember...

As I head into the crazy (much by my own design) holiday season, I've made it my goal to celebrate the little moments of every day life and make them special...as there is much to celebrate each and every day, not just the days denoted on our calendars!

Here's to Thursday mornings at home with Drew, Friday nights at home with Kate and Dave having pizza, watching a movie in our pajamas, Sunday afternoons on the couch with Dave, he watching football and me cheering on the "other team" as that's the only way it's fun for me!

The Time Of My Life...

My precious Kate and Drew,

I can hardly believe how quickly time passes, especially when I feel as though I spend a lot of my energy wishing it to move faster with thoughts such as "Is it 5 o'clock yet?!?" or "Come a little quicker Friday!!" and yet with the 2 of you, I am wanting it to S-L-O-W...I am wanting to drink in every second...not wanting to miss a thing!

For in my mind, it seems like just yesterday that you both looked like this...

And in what seems like nothing more than a blink of my eye, you have grown and in the past week, hit milestones...

Miss Kate, My Love Bug, My Sugarbritches --

At 4 and a half, you are ALL GIRL. You love picking out your clothes, your hair accessories, every last detail of your outfit; you love to carry a bag everywhere you go (filled to the brim with who-knows-what!); you are emotional in the best sense of the word - you laugh deeply, you love with all of your heart, you are sensitive to your feelings and more importantly to the feelings of others.

You've grown so much as you've started preschool and I am so glad that you love "school" as you do, you have such a joy for learning, you love your friends and you LOVE reminding Drew that you go to school and he, he just goes to daycare...

That said, you love your brother -- you love to help me take care of him, you teach him, you play with him, and oh how he looks up to you and wants to be doing what you're doing! I look forward to watching the relationship you share continuing to grow -- it is my hope you will one day be the best of friends!

I think you're a bit sad to see Drew grow from a baby to a "big boy" as you LOVE babies - be it the babies of our friends or your "own" babies -- I love catching you rocking one of your babies in your arms, or tucking a baby in for a nap, or talking to one...you are going to be a great mommy one day! And as you love to tell me (and remind me often) -- when you "grow'ed up" you're going to be a nurse, a teacher, a baker, and a momma --- and my girl, I can't wait to see it!

My precious girl, my first born - I thank you for making me a mom, I thank you for the joy that you bring me each and every day, and most importantly I thank you for teaching me how to love in a way I didn't know possible!

Mr. Drew, My Pumpkin, Little Bigs --

If your sister is ALL GIRL, you are absolutely ALL BOY...you are rough and tumble, you are fearless, you are the cause of my hair turning gray (thank goodness for my highlights!)

As I have whispered to you before, I admittedly was nervous about having a boy - having had a a sister and having your sister before you, I wasn't sure I would know what to do with a boy, but my precious Drew...I can NOT imagine my life with you...

I am so thankful that I was chosen to be your momma -- that I am the one that wakes to your smile each morning, that I am the one that feels your chubby little arms reach around my neck and pat me on the back each afternoon as I pick you up from daycare, that I am the one that gets to hear your deep belly laugh, that I get to hear you yell "Cookie" at the top of your lungs when you see Cookie Monster anywhere (be it the TV, a book, an article of clothing), that I am the one that gets your slobbery kisses, that I am the one you reach for at the end of the day when you want to snuggle...

I enjoy each and every minute of watching your personality develop - you have such a sense of humor, you love nothing more than to make others laugh, you also are such a flirt (thank goodness I have a few years to get used to the idea of there being another "girl" in your life), you are fearless - you don't think, you just go and I can't help but wish for a bit of that in my personality...

But most importantly, you are such a joy - you complete my heart and I love you more than I can put into words!

Being a momma to both of you, it is the time of my life...I am so incredibly blessed to call you both "mine" and say a prayer of thanks every night as I sneak into your rooms for one last kiss and every night, my breath is taken away in disbelief that you are "mine", that I get to love you as no one else can or will.

I love you both to the moon and back -

M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E

HOPE YOUR HALLOWEEN WAS FULL OF TREATS LIKE MINE...

Destination...Unknown

As I've written before, I feel as though I'm on a journey...while I may know both HOW and WHERE I started, the final destination...it remains UNKNOWN

Along the way, I've been thinking a lot about my goals, my needs, my wants - my desires to be a better mom, wife, friend, employee, my desire to want to love myself more...to love myself as deeply and intensely as I love others...

But I've come to see recently is that I'm not alone...we ALL want these things...we ALL want to better in one way or another...

Life is crazy...I know I'm constantly running from one place to the next, often getting there "just in the nick of time" (and sometimes with hardly a memory of how I got there)...and in this craziness, I'll be the first to admit that I think often of myself. Simple things like "I really wish this other driver would go just a bit faster so that I could pick up Drew on time" or "Really?!? The lady in front of me at the grocery store does not have her debit card out and ready to swipe at the first opportunity?!?" Or maybe even more complex things like asking a coworker or neighbor how they're doing, but not really stopping to listen to their response - sure I may HEAR what they have to say, but am I LISTENING? Am I paying careful attention to the tone in their voice? To what they say and just as importantly what they don't say?!? Sometimes I wish we could wear signs to "alert" others to the journey we're taking. Maybe the sign would say "I'm a new mom..." or "I'm unhappy in my marriage..." or "I want to be loved..." or "I need a good friend to share a cup of coffee and a good laugh..." I think seeing the signs would remind us that we all struggle to find our way, to better ourselves...

We're not alone in our travels...we're all on a journey of some sort and we all have our baggage to carry...we need to take the time to acknowledge each other, to be there for each other, and most importantly to learn from each other...

The first stop in my journey...VULNERABILITY...allowing others to see "me"...my moments of weakness, my moments of worry, my moments of insecurity...and let me tell you, it's scary, it's almost paralyzing, but it's also liberating, for not only is my life being touched but so are the lives of others...